Major Shrinkage Results: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku Lament

Get major shrinkage/
camping: Increase the chance of/
peeing on yourself.

Maroon Truck Morons: Revolutionary ImproVerse Free Verse Poem

The outhouse sign said:/
“Please don’t throw trash/
in the toilet.”/

So the fishermen/
in the maroon 4×4 pickup truck/
threw their garbage/
in the river, instead.

Diamonds Hung: Revolutionary IMproVerse Free Verse Poem

Orion’s Belt hung
on the west canyon rim,
like three diamonds
on the velvet black counter
of God’s cosmic jewelry store.

I didn’t ask to buy them,
for they were already in
my possession,
and the experience,
next to the rushing river rapids,
under a waxing half moon,
caressed by the cool canyon breeze,
was priceless.

I simply pointed at the three diamonds,
smiled,
and thanked my Heavenly Shopkeeper .

Thanks For Miracles: Revolutionary Email Haiku

How do you fully/
thank someone who gifts you a/
new life miracle?

After All Preparedness: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku Lament

If your mother hides/
your emergency gear in/
deep storage, you’ll die.

Facing The Eastern Wall: Revolutionary ImproVerse Rhyming Haiku

Standing in the glow/
of the morning sun, I know: /
my life will soon change.

With empathy for my daughters and female friends:

After 50 years,/
I at last get how scary/
Periods can look.

Proof arrhythmic: white men can dance – – revolutionary improv haiku

I’m living proof that/
A white man CAN dance when he/
ain’t got no rhy… thm.

Said while passing the nurses’ station, following my failed heart ablation procedure… They say they are going to “put it on the board.”
Followed by my quip:
“I’ll be up all evening$!”

Patch Adams I’m not: Revolutionary blogging prose

After fasting for several meals before my heart procedure, I finally got to eat. I put two slices of orange between my gums and teeth. When the nurse came in and ask how I was doing, I said “My teeth hurt when I smile.”
Then I smiled at her.
She asked: “Do they only hurt when you eat? or all of the time?”
I said: “It was a joke, See?” And I smiled even more broadly at her so she could see the orange rinds.
“Oh.”
Ouch.

Pre-surgery shave: revolutionary improvers haiku lament

It’s sad to hope that/
women will prep you but then /
learn men will do it