Posts Tagged ‘heart ablation’

With empathy for my daughters and female friends:

April 24, 2015

The sheath fell outAfter 50 years,/
I at last get how scary/
Periods can look.

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Proof arrhythmic: white men can dance – – revolutionary improv haiku

April 24, 2015

I’m living proof that/
A white man CAN dance when he/
ain’t got no rhy… thm.

Said while passing the nurses’ station, following my failed heart ablation procedure… They say they are going to “put it on the board.”
Followed by my quip:
“I’ll be up all evening$!”

Patch Adams I’m not: Revolutionary blogging prose

April 23, 2015

Orange rind post op smile

After fasting for several meals before my heart procedure, I finally got to eat. I put two slices of orange between my gums and teeth. When the nurse came in and ask how I was doing, I said “My teeth hurt when I smile.”
Then I smiled at her.
She asked: “Do they only hurt when you eat? or all of the time?”
I said: “It was a joke, See?” And I smiled even more broadly at her so she could see the orange rinds.
“Oh.”
Ouch.

Pre-surgery shave: revolutionary improvers haiku lament

April 23, 2015

No female nurse prep for me :-(It’s sad to hope that/
women will prep you but then /
learn men will do it

What Should I Announce? Revolutionary Blogging Free Verse Poem

April 23, 2015

I stare
into the linoleum void.
Cold it is.
Cold I feel.
Not so cold
as I could soon be.

Inhospitable
hospital.

Why?
My heart,
though stronger,
still ain’t
got
no
rhy-
thumumum.

So masked men
must stop-start it
again,
wire me up,
make me tubular,
give me the ultimate
heart burn.

Cauterize
my over-sized pump
that’s too energized.
That won’t sing: Thump Thump.
Thump Thump.

I hope it works
this time.
But if it doesn’t?
Who should I tell
that I might not return?

My mother worries enough
for the world.
She makes every
small
procedure
into some giant event.
Munchhausen by proxy.

So,
if I go,
I know
she’ll tell,
but probably
only my family.

My friends?
What of them?
She won’t know.

Perhaps Facebook quiet
will spread the word.
If you haven’t heard
by Saturday,
that I’m out …
I’m probably not.
Or maybe
I permanently
am.

Death’s Stare-Down: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

November 21, 2014

staring Death in the face --  thigh bruiseI wonder if this/
is what Death looks like when you/
stare it in the face.

Breathe Deep and Hold: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

November 17, 2014

At Jah hospital,/
Brand-new experiences./
Duuuuuuuude! I did inhale!
Utah Valley medical Center bong

I’m Good With Babies: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

November 17, 2014

My hospital room’s/
next to the nurs’ry. It’s not/
fair. Can I hold them?

Strawberry Shake And A Hat Out Of Anything: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

November 17, 2014

Orange teeth, Food Cover hat, strawberry shake at a hospital stay: Heart ablation, Utah Valley Medical CenterThe next best part of/
a hospital stay is lots/
of good food and hats.

Hospital Socks: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

November 17, 2014

New hospital socks -- heart ablation, Nov 2014The best part about/
hospitals is that I get/
a new pair of socks.