Two Friends At Sin’s Door: Revolutionary IMprov Sonnet

Two friends
now stand at the same door
I had once entered
and exited, before.

One is heading out.
One might go in.
One is fleeing darkness.
One might embrace sin.

She who is leaving,
(as I also learned,)
knows the folly of entering;
knows evil should be spurned.

I will weep for joy as the one comes out,
and cry in anguish ‘til the other turns about.

Developing Talents Sunday School Lesson: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

Preparing a Gospel Principles Sunday School lesson on developing talents, I was struck by this thought:
When* I don’t write or/
smile, I bury talents and/
deny others joy.

OR
*If

Dance Move Alternatives: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku

When the woman you/
came to dance with doesn’t show,/
help in the kitchen.

While The Muse Sleeps: Romantic IMprov Haiku

She will wake up to/
words unbounded, thoughts released,/
passions unfettered.

Shun Coming Of Age: Revolutionary IMprov Haiku

Why would I want to/
write about an event I’m/
trying to avoid?

Falsely Self Deprecating: Revolutionary IMprov Haiku

The pain of hearing/
her self-deprecate lessens/
when you know she’s wrong.

Eating Away The Pain Alternative: Romantic IMprov Haiku

He offered to change/
her life. Don’t eat Doritos;/
munch on Davidos.

Beauty’s Vision: Romantic IMprov Haiku

Every vision of/
her beauty makes my stomach /
capture butterflies.

Should She Ask? It’s Simple Math: Revolutionary IMprov Prose

In person and in social media forums, many single women ask the question: “Is it okay for a woman to ask out a man, or ask a man for his phone number, or ask a man to dance?”
Assuming that social norms have changed enough to give women “equal rights” in dating, it boils down to a simple math issue of “if/then” equations.
The first equation is very complicated:
IF there are (say), 1000 [Or insert any number you wish] single dateable women (meaning my age range within 200 miles of my home), AND IF they are on Facebook (or some other place where I can “find” them, such as going to singles activities, dances, classes, parties, etc.),
THEN ASSUME I have enough time in a week to ask out 3 new women (which is EXTREMELY high) a week,
THEN I have the chance to ask out about 150 NEW WOMEN a year. AT THE MOST.
Result? These women have a 15% chance of me asking them out (or a 1.5 out of 10 chance).
Not very high.
If the numbers change (lets say, for example, there are 5000 eligible women, and I can only take out 2 new ones a week, which are probably closer to true numbers), then the results change dramatically (in this case, 100 women a year out of 5000 = 2% chance I will ask a particular woman out, or a .2 out of 10 chance.)

HOWEVER, the second equation is much simpler for both scenarios (for me, and for most men, with some exceptions):
IF a woman asks me out,
THEN there is a 100% chance I will go out with her.
100%!

The same is true for asking for phone numbers or email. Ask, and ye shall receive!

The same is roughly true at a singles dance.
Women ask: “Should I ask a man to dance?”
For the answer, here’s my logic:
At a normal dance for people my age, there are 100 single women.
Each dance song is (roughly) 4 minutes long.
That means there are about 15 songs an hour.
Each dance lasts (roughly) 3 hours.
That means there are about 45 potential songs we could dance to. Already, a woman has less than a 50/50 chance I will dance with her.

NOW ASSUME that I will skip dancing to some songs because I don’t like the song (Boot-scootin’ Boogie, The Lion Sleeps Tonight), or I want some water (I dance hard!). Also assume that, during line dances (Cupid Shuffle, Electric Slide, etc.), I will dance solo. The total number of songs I can dance to drops to about 35 dances.
THEN ASSUME that I will dance twice with the same woman for at least 25% of those songs (one fast, one slow), and you’re down to about 25 potential songs I can dance to with a unique partner.
That equals a 1 in 4 (25%) chance that I will dance with a particular woman at that event.

HOWEVER, if a woman asks me to dance, she will, 100% of the time, get a “yes” answer.
Do the math.

Then ask!

Venus And Her: Romantic ImproVerse Haiku

I saw Venus in/
marble, perfect in form, and/
I remembered her.