How To Shun Long Form Prostitution: Romantic IMprov Limerick

Oh, that Muse! Would that she/
would simply run away with me!/
We could together thus shun/
any hint of vile prostitution/
as we wrote each other poetry!/

Getting My Stuff Together: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku

Now that I’ve got all/
my stuff together, I don’t/
know where to put it.

A Deeper Meaning: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

When I die, I’ll be/
proud to have “Do you like my/
Hat?” on my coffin.

Getting 58 Birthday Wishes: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

If you want people/
to wish you “Happy Birthday!”,/
just wear a cool hat.

The “These Are NOT Haiku!” Challenge: Revolutionary IMprov Haiku And Limericks

The following banter between a friend and I is the result of a long-standing peeve of hers that my haiku … aren’t.

DS: First off, happy birthday! Hope it was a good one. Second: THOSE AREN’T HAIKU!

DK: (Moi)
I write these Haiku,/
girlfriend, just for you./
A tisket, a tasket,/
You’ll blow a gasket/
at the poetry I do.
(a limerick).

DS: ok…I like that one, but c’mon…you’re talented! You can do REAL HAIKU. I challenge you.

DK: My birthday called dawn./
Light swept, bright, down mountain slopes./
My life’s before me.

DS: YES YES YES!!

DK: She’ll oft criticize./
I’ve seen ducks’ moist backs before./
She still makes me laugh.

DK: She smiles, radiant./
A bright bouquet reflects her./
Miracles happen.

DK: (do you want me to stop?)

DS: Yes you can stop now. But please keep writing them correctly!

DK: If I stop the flow/
of protoplasmic verse, I fear/
my nucleus’ burst.

DS:NO NO NO!! NOT HAIKU!!
You can’t just put a /
Where you want the line to end.
Thought must be complete.

DK:
I understand that./
My words freeflow like rivers./
They tickle my mind.

Expired Tabs: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

Been rollin’ dirty/
For so long I don’t recall/
what drivin’ clean’s like.

My Birthday Thanks: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

On my birthday, it’s/
only appropriate to/
thank her for life’s gift.
Or

… love’s gift.

Ouch. OUCH! Oh, Oh! Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

When you are on blood/
thinner, use caution. Don’t be/
hasty when shaving.

Why Ask? Romantic ImproVerse Haiku Lament

Why ask what I want/
to do if you’re just going/
to do something else*?
OR

to do what you want?

Not Hard Swiss Chard: Revolutionary ImproVerse Rhyming Haiku

It was not hard to/
grow Swiss chard, so why did I/
delay the harvest?

AND

Unknown Culinary Delight
Who knew, as the chard/
grew, what boiling, olive oil,/
lime and herbs would do?

AND

I Could Yodel, It’s Sooooo GOOD!
Italian herbs and/
seasonings meet Swiss chard for/
a Alpine taste treat!

AND
She’d Never Had Before
At 84, she’d/
never had Swiss chard before./
But now, she wants more.