A Better Example Than I Am: Revolutionary ImproVerse Free Verse

All of us/
on the afternoon #45 bus/
shook our heads/
in disgust/
or rolled our eyes/
or grimaced/
as we tried/
to avoid face-to-face/
with the disheveled/
probably homeless/
man who rocked out/
to tunes/
on his iPhone,/
loud,/
obnoxious/
swearing.

All of us,/
that is,/
but the sun-tanned/
young woman/
who was just/
coming home from work/
at Smith’s/
or some other grocery store/
neatly uniformed, /
smiling,/
and, /
(as she revealed later,)
heading to her halfway house,/
to her recovery place./

She simply smiled/
at the man,/
and pointed at her ears./
(At last!/
Someone is going to/
say something!)

But, /
when he said “WHAT!?!”,/
she reached into her backpack,/
and handed him,/
gifted him,/
a pair of earphones.

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Shouting God’s Name: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku Praise

Oh My God!* That’s right!/
I’m not afraid to say it!
It’s all a praise song.

OR
OMG! That’s right!/
I’m not afraid to say it./
It’s all a praise song.

Stepping On A Lego Response — Utah Style: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

A friend forwarded me a funny haiku about stepping on a Lego. It basically said:
“@#$*! !!@#)*$@)#(! !@(#)!
#!@!! #@$(! #)%(^+ !#)($) !(@)$((@ !!##@($)#! #$@!
@#$ #@$$# !!@#!@# #(*%#@!!” — This is my response:

Alas! Poor [friend’s name] ____!, who doth not recall I have, some time hence, relocated to the sacred hills of Utah. Thus, my response to having painfully trod on a Lego would be, pure as flowing waters from a mountain stream, a thusly spoken word:

Gosh darn oh my heck!/
Flippin’ fetch! Brigham Young! Son/
agun Fetchin’ A!

Gentlemen’s Speech Results: Romantic ConTEXTing Haiku

I speak gentlemens’/
speech, so I get more than five/
minutes of her time.