Posts Tagged ‘insecurity’

What I May Not Believe: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

April 11, 2013

Despite what others/
may tell me, I’m still often/
*not secure enough.

NOTE: *As it turned out, with good reason!

What’s Inside My Brain: Revolutionary Blogging Free Verse Poetic Thought Stream

August 28, 2012

People exclaim:
“It must
be tough
to live inside
that head of yours
with everything
that goes on there!”

The insecurities.
The confusion.
The misunderstanding.
The doubt.
The intensity.
The pain.
The mistrust.
The loneliness.

That might be true.

Sometimes it is tough.
Sometimes I make mistakes.
SOmetimes I use faulty logic.
Frequently, I don’t think things
through
clearly
or rationally.

Still,
from how I’ve seen others live,
and from what I’ve seen in the world,
with all my brain’s
quirks
and confusion,
and pain
and insecurities,
I like that gray matter
that makes things matter.

It lets me feel things
others don’t
or won’t.

It lets me experience
the noisy violence of rock
and the silence of rocks
and comprehend
and write about
both.

My brain
connects to my heart
and my soul
to let me observe
and hear
and comprehend,
and reveal,
and explain,
when others just say
“What?” or
“Where?!?” or
“Huh?” or
“________”.

And sometimes
my quirky,
edgy,
Carpe Diem
brain
just lets
me
just be.

Why Backups Are Needed: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Poetry

February 12, 2012

When parents split,
Children must make choices.
I did.
No matter where I went,
I had a backup.
If one parent didn’t work out,
I could leave,
Go elsewhere,
Be with someone else.

Dating was the same way.
I’d develop relationships,
Love,
Passion,
But always kept another
In my back pocket,
As a backup.

Marriage should have changed that.
It did
For awhile.
But when I felt unloved,
When there was stress
Or anger
Or loneliness,
I looked for
A backup
Or two,
Or three.

But, unlike with my parents,
I lost everything.

Now I stand alone,
Again,
Seeking love,
Affirmation,
Passion,
Companionship.

But the old fears,
Habits,
Mistakes
Creep in.
I seek backups,
So when she bails,
Denies,
Hurts me,
Shuts down,
Another will be there,
Coming off the bench,
Substituting,
Filling needs
That were never there.

For true love
Needs no backup,
No substitute,
No replacement.

True love just needs
Trust,
Belief
And acceptance.

Knowing that,
Learning that,
Understanding that,
Accepting that
Is my first step.

Others Walk On Eggs: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku

July 3, 2011

Why do I let old/
insecurity tapes make/
others walk on eggs?