Posts Tagged ‘height’

Taller Women, Be Logical: Revolutionary Email Prose

October 9, 2013

Several women told me “I want to date taller men, because I’m tall”. Here is my arguement back (not that it does any good, but it was a fun exercize in logic and root cause analysis!)
You say you like tall(er) guys.
SO let me get this straight. You found a guy who is:
1) able to make you laugh (how often does that happen?, especially within the LDS culture?)
2) charming (probably indicative of good rearing, and I’ll bet you’ll discover I have great manners as well!)
3) intriguing … which probably goes along with that “how often does that happen in the LDS culture?
So, although I am shorter than you (unless you wear flats and I wear stilletoes), that seems to be a “problem”.

Ok. I’m a guy, so I’m going to come up with solution(s):
a) When we go to games, I’ll either bring several cushions to sit on, OR you sit on the row in front of me. That way, I’ll be taller than you.
b) OR if we go to soccer games, (such as the Seattle Sounders, USA National Team, or Real Salt Lake games I go to), I’ll stand and cheer (which is what I do anyway) and you can sit down and be a fuddy-duddy.
c) If we go out to, say, movies or the theater, you can sloutch down in your chair to the point that I can put my arm around your shoulders. That will force me to sit up straight and improve my posture.
d) If we ever are cuddling on the couch, you can do the same. OR I’ll stand behind you, or you can sit in front of me, and I’ll give you a Famous Dave’s back/shoulder/neck rub.
e) If this ever develops into a permanent relationship, for the next 30 or so years, at least a fourth of our time will be spent in a horizontal position (24 x 1/4 = 6 hours of sleep a night… minimum), where I’m probably “taller” than you are.
f) In addition, considering that we (perhaps) both work outside the home, should this ever get into a permanent relationship, more than 1/3 of our time (9 hours/day) will be spent away from each other, at least physically (because I’d call you during the day, because that is the romantic me).
g) In addition, at least 2 of the remaining hours will probably be spent where “tall doesn’t matter”, such as at a game, or eating out, or driving, or doing something similar.

IF you follow all that logic, at least 17-18 hours of a normal day, or more, will be spent where “tall doesn’t matter. In other words, 3/4ths of the time, it won’t matter.

You have to ask yourself if you’re willing to throw away #1-3 above (and more), and the possibility of supreme happiness and laughter and romance and wonder, just for the sake of an inch during 1/4th of your day?
Oh, one more thing: I’ll make you laugh. In fact, a lot of the time you’re with me, you’ll be doubled over with laughter… which will make you shorter than me anyway.
And THAT, as they say, is the summum bonum of the discussion.

Care to reconsider? Because, although you “prefer taller men”, you probably also prefer men who can make you laugh, who are interesting, who like doing what you like to do, who are confident yet caring, who are romantic and sensitive yet insightful and practical, who have hair, who have a job, who can make you feel safe and secure by their confidence and “being”, who are charming, polite, and gentlemanly, who are creative, and who can take you places you’ve never been.
If you REALLY think you can find a taller man who can give you all that, then, by all means, go for it! But, personally, if it were me, and I was looking at that list, and I had to sacrifice ANYTHING… I’d sacrifice height. Because someone who is taller than you can “lift you higher” by a few inches.
I can take you higher by measurements unbounded.


Ask Me To Change My Personality: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku

June 24, 2012

Ask me to change my/
personality. Then, ask/
me to change my height.

Lifting My Soul: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku

February 8, 2011

You have lifted my/
soul to new heights. I’ve dug deep/
to find rare feelings.

Last Time is Charming for a Short Prince: Romantic Poetry

August 3, 2009

The gauntlet was thrown:
a poet sought!
But yet,
invitations of meeting
were deleted with no regret;
they went for naught.

yet again, another time
he casts his bread
upon her swirling waters;
leaves his rhyme
in her head,

and asks:
What is she searching for?
An intellect to match her own?
With me she’s home.

A writer, witty and bright?
I’m that (if I can avoid being trite).
Six foot oh oh oh
I’m the wrong height for her stilettos.

Is that the only reason why
I’m not the guy?