Milk Carton Thug Girlfriend: Romantic IMprov Limerick

My girlfriend is a sexy thug.
I’ve fallen in love with her Milk Carton mug.
The dairy world calls her a looker.
She makes men want to book her
with that bad girl look that’s so smug.

Do You Recall? Romantic Holiday Song Parody Lament

(Sung to the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer”)

Well I’ve known brunettes
and redheads, accountants and funny ones.
Short ones and tall ones
and ones with hair bleached by the sun.

But do I recall
the greatest lover of all?

Not yet.

Ant Girlfriend: Romantic ConTEXTing Haiku

I’d love to have an/
ant girlfriend: One who always/
crawls all over me.