The first born
of the first born
of the first born
of the first born
will always be
my baby.
#BecauseFatherhood #HappyBirthday
So many people
tell me I’m a great dad. If
only my kids would.
The saddest I will/
ever be is to know how/
I failed my children.
Taking vacations/
to visit friends* is dumb if/
no one wants you there.
*kids
Of course she remembers
me never serving.
Of course she recalls
I left quickly from every activity,
from every meeting,
from every event.
Of course she recollects
I said “Let’s just go home.”
And of course my children remember
completely the opposite.
They recall that we stayed,
and cleaned up,
and helped put things away,
and talked to everyone,
and were frequently
among the last to leave.
Because when she,
hurt,
in pain,
complaining,
was with us,
my sole desire,
knowing of her pain
and her discomfort,
was to get her home
as quickly as possible;
to get her relaxed
and rested;
to serve her
the best way I knew how.
But when she wasn’t with us,
then my desire was to stay
with my children and
my friends and neighbors,
and serve,
and teach my children to serve.
So both my children’s memories
and her recollections
of how we served,
or didn’t,
are correct.
I do not have to justify
my actions
as I raised my children.
I feel vindicated,
justified,
and absolved.
I did the best
I knew how.
I know it.
My children know it.
And I know He knows it,
because He just told me.
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