I’m An Elf. Duh! Revolutionary IMprov Haiku

As I again tread/
into deep geekdom realms, I/
must know. And I’m glad.

Elves In The Farmer’s Market: Romantic ImproVerse Haiku

Even in distant/
farmers’ markets, gnomes and elves/
remind me of her.

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Carols From The Back Room: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

The waitress didn’t/
know she made me happy by/
singing Christmas songs.

Ways To Spread Christmas Cheer: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

I like singing songs/
of Christmas and putting up/
tacky bubble lights!

Smile Cheerios: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

It’s just a silly/
message on a yellow box,/
but it’s my fav’rite!

OR
but it still my fav.

What To Do All Alone At Christmas Time: Revolutionary IMprov Prose

A single friend asked: “What do you do all alone to get in the Christmas spirit?” Drawing on my past experiences, here’s what I suggested (many of the suggestions are Seattle, WA-based, since that’s where she lives).
Here’s the video link!
Find someone with a ragtop. Have them put the top down on a crisp, cold evening… hopefully with snow (you could go to Leavenworth) (or drive down Bellevue Way right after the Toy Soldiers/Drummer concerts at BelSquare every night). Lean the passenger seat back and look up at the lights as you drive through ________ (name of location with lots of lights). Have your Ella, MoTab, Frank Sinatra, Beach Boys or whatever Christmas CD playing LOUD. Wear a Santa hat and white gloves. Wave at people as you pass by. Watch them smile and wave back. If you are really brave, (and don’t mind a potential ticket), sit on the top of the back seat, like you were a Winterfest Princess.
And if you can’t find a friend with a ragtop, head down here to Utah. We’ll drive circles around Temple Square. It always works.
Just before Santa comes (late Christmas Eve), find a friend, go in their ragtop and park on a busy corner. Play your music really loud and sing. Remember: “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loudly for all to hear!” -Elf. People will join you.
Then, as Christmas Eve turns to Christmas Day, go to the front of your favorite church or place of worship and repeat/read the Christmas story from Luke. “It came to pass, in those days, a decree went out … ”
And end it at “And Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.”

Do I Trust Myself? A Revolutionary IMbic IMprov Poem

“Do you trust myself?”
She asked.
I laughed.
“In what regard?”

As in, you invite me
over to watch cinema:
comedy, chick flick, drama,
popcorned action, mystery?

That there would be
no butter smeared on that
velvet, gentle skin, as we sat,
and watched the movie.

The only thing low
I would dip into
and slip into
would be a bowl

of buttered
popcorn,
not porn,
or anything like it.

Kernels I would just eat
while I watch,
and butter touch
and brush off my seat.

Do I trust myself?
Whether watching a romantic chick flick,
or Elf,
I keep my emotions,
and buttered hands,
on the shelf.