Being Grateful: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Haiku

Quaff from goblets of/
gratitude. Don’t sip out of/
bitterness bottles.
OR
Don’t sip from bottles/
of bitterness. Drink deep from/
gratitude’s goblets.

Utah All-You-Can-Eat Food Addiction: Revolutionary Improv Haiku

I went to an all-you-can-eat buffet in Utah today. It made me so sad to see (mostly women), 2 or 3 times as big as they should be, carrying 2, 3, 4 or 5 FULL plates of food back to their tables, stuffing themselves. It almost made me cry. And I’m not a skinny guy … but I was probably the 2nd smallest guy in the place! It’s amazing that a culture that places so much emphasis on avoiding “sins of the flesh” (drugs, booze, coffee, sex outside of marriage, smoking) can turn a blind eye to gluttony.

What should you do if:/
You can’t drink, smoke, do drugs, sex?/
Eat yourself to death.

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A Guy’s Online Dating Lament: Revolutionary Email Poem

I’m a pretty smart guy,
I think.
Yet sometimes I
could be driven to drink
(although I don’t,
and I won’t)
by the complexity
that lies before me
as I fish.
I wish
there was some way
to quickly say:
“Don’t think I’m a nut
if I want to follow up!”
without seeming greedy,
or appearing to be needy.
You email a woman who says
“Yeah, you’re funny,
and I’ll bet
you’d give me
a run for my money
intellectually … ”
and then …
nothing.
So you email her again.
This much is true:
you then have no clue
what else to do.
Do you wait?
Let her contemplate?
Trust your life to technological fate?
Or move on?
(What if she’s the only one
who’s caught your interest
thus?)
Update/
to her “cute…thanks :-)” response
at ten thirty-eight:
And the answer
to the question
from the romancer
is______________ … indigestion?

Whine about Wine: A Romantic ConTEXTing Poem

I want 2b yer sheraz/
becuz/
yer lips will drink me in./
I want 2b yer merlot,/
U no,/
and yer affections win./
I want 2b the cab/
U must have./
B4 bed,/
sip me instead.