She, alone, stood
and, debating her own best good,
faced down the gaping abyss
of conscious solo loneliness.
She knew another decision would
be, by others, easily understood
if she, reconsidering, stepped back;
let herself be lead down a different track.
She could easily hike hand in hand
through life’s journey with a man
who had never truly got
the greater knowledge and light she sought.
But she turned her vision to a loftier view;
Spread forth her arms, lept out, and flew.
Is happiness a/
destination, a journey,/
or your decision?
What if
your loneliness
pushed me
into a choice
I didn’t want to make yet.
What if,
as I look back on it,
I realize
I chose too soon.
What if
the crying
and goodbyeing
were caused by you thinking
in your mind
it would probably
happen eventually.
What if
I was confused
again
about what I wanted,
where I wanted to live,
how I wanted to be.
What if
you had said
nothing;
had let it play out;
had let me figure me out.
What if
you didn’t know
a few days later
that I’d look at your photos
and want to go
back
to where I was before,
before all the
what ifs
happened.
What if you
were wrong.
Cyrano Writer: Musings of a Revolutionary Romantic Poet 