Leave Brave And Return: Revolutionary Napkin Haiku

Props to the kid in/
the red sweatshirt — and Dad — who/
left and still returned.

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Stepping On A Lego Response — Utah Style: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

A friend forwarded me a funny haiku about stepping on a Lego. It basically said:
“@#$*! !!@#)*$@)#(! !@(#)!
#!@!! #@$(! #)%(^+ !#)($) !(@)$((@ !!##@($)#! #$@!
@#$ #@$$# !!@#!@# #(*%#@!!” — This is my response:

Alas! Poor [friend’s name] ____!, who doth not recall I have, some time hence, relocated to the sacred hills of Utah. Thus, my response to having painfully trod on a Lego would be, pure as flowing waters from a mountain stream, a thusly spoken word:

Gosh darn oh my heck!/
Flippin’ fetch! Brigham Young! Son/
agun Fetchin’ A!