Stepping On A Lego Response — Utah Style: Revolutionary ImproVerse Haiku

A friend forwarded me a funny haiku about stepping on a Lego. It basically said:
“@#$*! !!@#)*$@)#(! !@(#)!
#!@!! #@$(! #)%(^+ !#)($) !(@)$((@ !!##@($)#! #$@!
@#$ #@$$# !!@#!@# #(*%#@!!” — This is my response:

Alas! Poor [friend’s name] ____!, who doth not recall I have, some time hence, relocated to the sacred hills of Utah. Thus, my response to having painfully trod on a Lego would be, pure as flowing waters from a mountain stream, a thusly spoken word:

Gosh darn oh my heck!/
Flippin’ fetch! Brigham Young! Son/
agun Fetchin’ A!

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NCAA As God (Again): Revolutionary Rhyming ImproVerse Haiku

News item, Provo, Utah: The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) has refused to allow Brigham Young University (BYU) to continue its long-standing tradition of offering a prayer before home events — including, in this case, a BYU Women’s Soccer tournament game at South Field on BYU’s campus — on the grounds that it is an “NCAA Tournament”. In a recent video of the BYU huddle before the first tournament game, one of the senior BYU players is heard to ask: “Wait! What about the prayer?”

NCAA! Let/
BYU’s Cougs pray! Who made/
you God anyway?

Making The Desert Blossom: Revolutionary ConTEXTing Rhyming Haiku

Pioneers were told:/
“Make the desert blossom as/
a rose!” So they did.