In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon or LDS Church), we believe that all people can ask worthy Melchizedek Priesthood holders to “Lay their hands on (our) head and give (us) a blessing”. Whether it’s a blessing of health, of comfort, of inspiration, of peace … we believe that God can bless us through our faith and the faith of others.
The other day, a divorced woman on Facebook made a very public complaint, saying: “I haven’t had a Priesthood blessing in more than a year.” I’ve heard this complaint a lot, especially from women, so I responded. I probably wasn’t very nice in my response … but I think there are some interesting questions raised.
Dear [woman who complained] and all you ladies — and there are a lot of you — who complain about “Not having a Priesthood blessing in a long time.” What are you waiting for? Why don’t you go out and ask? You have a responsibility to exhibit your faith. It’s as simple as asking your home teachers or a member of your bishopric or a worthy male relative or friend. If you haven’t had a blessing in over a year, it’s nobody’s fault but your own. I’m sorry for being so harsh, but that’s the way it is. You can complain about it, or you can do something about it.
The woman responded: “You remind me of my ex. Always had to ask for everything.
I’m fine with asking for a blessing, however after losing my Priesthood holder to divorce, it’s become painful to ask for one. Women are tender, sensitive and some battered.”
I responded: “I’m just trying to encourage women to ask for something that they have the power to get, instead of waiting and complaining. Take charge of your own lives. I have to ask for a blessing. Why shouldn’t you?”
A follow-up to my comments: Hidden in this woman’s complaint, I believe, is the not-so-subtle reprimanding of Priesthood holders who haven’t, evidently, been inspired enough that they’ve offered to give her a blessing. But, Sisters, lets look at the reality of how that would look in real life. Can you imagine if Priesthood holders went walking around, saying to people in their stewardship (or others): “I feel like you need me to give you a blessing.”? Especially if men started coming up to single sisters and doing that?
Don’t get me wrong. It does happen. I know many people have been blessed by Priesthood holders who were inspired to offer a blessing. My mother can witness to the power of her Home Teacher being inspired to give her a blessing just as her heart was starting to malfunction and race. Many of my friends, both male and female, have had similar experiences. My brother, in the midst of my life struggles, said “I feel like I need to give you a blessing.” I hadn’t thought of asking for one, but he was inspired. That blessing helped me get back on the right path, where I needed to be. So I do know that happens, and it should happen a lot.
BUT it is, sometimes, frightening to offer to give blessings. There are also many of us who have tried to follow those spiritual promptings in our own marriages and families, and with friends and people we have stewardships for (Home Teaching families, for example). Sometimes we have been chastised and told “No!” and “You are manipulating me” and “You are using your Priesthood unrighteously” and “You aren’t inspired; you just think you’re better than I am and are trying to prove your self-righteousness” and “You are just trying to get me to do what you think I should do”. Some of us have been told, after giving what we felt was an inspired blessing, “That wasn’t from God. Those were just your own opinions,” or even, from a Priesthood companion, “You can’t promise him that! You just told him he would be healed, even though doctors say he will die.”
People need to recognize that, for some Priesthood holders, it has become painful — or at least scary — to offer a blessing, even when they feel inspired, especially to someone they may not know that well. Priesthood holders can also be “tender, sensitive, and battered.” Thus, if you want a blessing at the hands of the Priesthood, it is a sign of your faith that you can and should ask.
Think of the woman who touched the Savior’s clothes. She had the faith to “ask”. I’m certain that the Son of God could have looked at the crowd and said “You, woman over there, come here. Let me give you a blessing and heal you.” But He waited for her to manifest her faith. It’s a good model.
July 15 morning comment, from a female friend of mine: If women are waiting for Priesthood holders to be inspired to offer them a blessing, “that is pretty much a cop out.”
July 15 afternoon comment, also from a female: “Women should not expect men to be mind readers. It is inappropriate to spontaneously offer blessings if you are not the husband, father, or home teacher, or in a position to be aware that there is a need. Even husbands are not mind readers.”
July 15, afternoon, male: My thoughts?
We have the opportunity to ask HF for the things we desire anytime. Just fall to your knees and ask away. Weary the Lord with your requests, and your gratitude. He is mindful of your needs, and will provide to you what He sees fit at that moment.
If you seek to have clarity and direction from a PH blessing, then of course, ask for them too.
July 15, Afternoon, Female: “We are told to seek blessings. We do this far too little as a people. ”
July 15, evening, Female: “We are all tender, sensitive and battered. Personally, I need to hear what a man’s experience can be like.
I know it’s my responsibility and right to ask for blessings and I will do it when I am ready or in desperate need. A blessing is not a casual thing to me. I have many from years ago that I feel are still active in my life, even when I can’t recall the exact words.”
July 15, evening, female: “I haven’t had a PH blessing in a while because I haven’t asked. I did ask when I felt I was coming unglued many months ago, and my Bishop was able to do so. I needed that blessing to wake me up from a path I was heading down that was going to only end badly. I remember this being spoken of on a different group site. I thought some of the responses were sad. Just sad. And I think we, in this Group, tend to me more silly and let off lots of steam here, but does not mean we aren’t also striving to be good, decent people.”
July 15, Evening, Female:I ask for blessings when I need them. I have two wonderful sons-in-law and great home teachers. (I am truly blessed.) I believe you are correct in your assertion that there needs to be a show of faith on the part of the person asking for a blessing. I think the tricky part comes when a man feels inspired to offer a blessing. There can be a great deal of difference between, “I feel I need to give you a blessing.” and “I can see you are hurting. Would you like a blessing?” The first statement may appear superior and perhaps manipulative, even demanding. The second, allows the person their agency and still allows them to show faith. The first just allows for compliance. Asking rather than telling also allows the woman to decline if she feels that they guy is not inspired or thinks he is manipulative without hurting his feelings. Then the responsibility becomes hers. He has fulfilled his responsibility simply by asking.
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