I Can NOT Go Back As Part Of Repenting: Revolutionary Blogging Poetry

I have stood at the brink,
the edge,
the terriflying cliff
of loneliness.

I have knelt at the edge,
the corner,
the cold downturned quilt
of king-bed despair.

I have wept
for lack of touch,
for no kind words,
for teddybear hugs.

I have done stupid things,
Taken foolish actions,
made terrible choices
in desperate attempts.

I know I have ravaged peoples’ lives,
jolted their reality,
violated their trust,
because of my selfishness.

I do not know the magnitude
of confusion
and misdirection
my broken moral compass caused.

I am learning the amount
I have drawn people away,
and caused to distrust,
the Him I love the most.

I again will fall
to my knees
to discover how I can fix
and repair the damage I caused.

I will again beg
for forgiveness,
for mercy,
for understanding.

For I do not want to go back, again
to the actions that caused
such grief, pain,
and mistrust.

But, please, God,
do not make me stand, solo, again
on that cold, desparing, jagged
and terrifying lonely cliff.

I’ll jump.

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