Response to Little Bee’s Opening Paragraph: Romantic IMprov Prose Retort

I have an issue with the first passage of the book Little Bee, and I shared my thoughts about it during an IMing session:
It reads:
“Most days I wish I was a British pound coin instead of an African girl. Everyone would be pleased to see me coming.
Maybe I would visit with you for the weekend and then suddenly, because i am fickle like that, I would visit with the man from the corner shop instead – but you would not be sad because you would be eating a cinnamon bun, or drinking a cold Coca-Cola from the can, and you would never think of me again.
We would be happy, like lovers who met on holiday and forgot each other’s name.”

The person who shared this piece with me thought it was amazing. I thought it was sad, and expressed my feelings:

“I can’t imagine meeting, nor being, a lover who meets on holiday, and then who would forget his love’s name, who could be happy.
Should I meet a love on holiday, or any other day — perhaps a day like today? — I would hope her name would be engraved in my heart.
Like the clear stone you hold up to the sunset. I ‘believe’ in finding a love like that.

A love for whom you sit around, dirty in your nighttime dust, because you don’t want to leave.

You can wait to start the party because, without that person, there is no party.

Did the sun rise on the days before you met?
You don’t remember.

Will the sun set this evening?
You’re not quite certain, but if it does, it’s only because it will allow you to slip into sweet, lasting dreams of your love.
And so it goes. The sun rises on you and your love.
The sun sets, so other moments together can begin.

And you look at your hands on the keyboard and wonder where this all came from, on what promised to be an ordinary, uneventful day.

And you raise your eyes above your hands, to your heart, and feel the hope…
and know.”

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2 Responses to “Response to Little Bee’s Opening Paragraph: Romantic IMprov Prose Retort”

  1. Vicci Says:

    ….and she said….you are a wonderful man…for this I know.

  2. cyranowriter Says:

    … to which I replied: “Evidently not One-der-Full enough.”

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